Negotiation & the Art of Rapport

Asking questions works better than making demands in any area in life. You don’t always have to get your own way to win in a negotiation. Patience, listening skills and presenting alternatives can smooth over ruffled feathers. Experienced negotiators listen patiently and ask questions and then propose the alternatives. Recognize the other party has opinions and propose valid options to get to a goal. It’s not just your way, even when you want it to be.

Successful negotiators disagree without undermining the rapport they have taken time to create. They do this by listening patiently and confirming by repeating back to the speaker what they have just heard before they start contradicting the statements or proposing different options.

Whatever you do, do not try to push your opposing party into a corner, this will not make matters any better for your negotiation. It’s not a murder trial! It’s a negotiation where you should be working towards a mutually beneficial outcome. First and foremost, make the statement that you understand where they are coming from. Showing commonality & compassion will not cause them to react negatively to you. Then, at this point, you can disagree with them, but do so without insulting or putting them down. Don’t let the disagreement become confrontational. By all means, don’t out do the opponent.

Rather than a direct confrontation, use the salesman’s feel, felt, found formula. It’s been used for a hundred years but it works.

Think It Out To Yourself

Mean it when you say it. I understand how you feel (Be sure you do) then add “I’ve felt the same way” (You probably have) and conclude with “But in my experience I’ve found….” Then slowly present or propose an alternative solution. It’s a negotiation, not you getting everything and they get nothing.

Identify With The Opponent

What you strive to accomplish with this strategy is keep rapport and disagree in a non-confrontational manner. Most of all you’ve identified with the opponent and hopefully your suggested solutions will guide the opponent to a different point of view.

Another method of non-confrontational disagreement is to state how you’ve solved a similar disagreement in the past. Most opponents are willing to listen to suggestions and solutions that worked before.

Alternatives And Solutions Are The Best And Easiest Way To Negotiate

That way you are not criticizing the opponent and you are cooperating. Be first to present alternatives – that’s plural. Many of your opponents will say no to all of your suggestions. Prepare for that. Time is a significant part of the negotiation and it takes time for people to consider alternatives and options. They need time to think about it. People are begging to be lead, make suggestions. Encourage the opponent to participate. Show that you can go beyond what’s normal. Show them a better solution. When they are confronted with something better, when it’s staring them in the face, it’d hard for them to argue.

Differing Opinions

The intensity of a negotiation can create clashing and violent differences of opinions. Let the other party have equal say so, so they don’t get frustrated and become hostile. The more you listen the more you know what they want and you can pin point the solution or alternative.

Open ended questions, such as “Why do that?…”, “What are you thinking…” or “What other suggestions would you like to make…”, “Do you have other options…” or “What’s the consequences of that proposal?”

The idea is to create reciprocity, equals working towards a common benefit.

Using these techniques will help you to gain perspective in any negotiation, and tend to help you reach the goals you set forth to accomplish.

Are You Living In the Present?

When you saw this article title, did you relate to it? I’ll be honest; I sure did. That might seem strange considering I wrote the article, but when I reread the title a couple times, I realized it was an eye-opener for me and it made me really stop and think. Maybe it’s an eye-opener for you, too, so I’ll give you an idea of what got me out of living in the present and what I do to focus on staying in it. Maybe it’ll help you change course if you need to.

What I’ve really noticed is lately I’ve been getting way ahead of myself. In other words, I haven’t been taking time to really connect with what’s right in front of me in my life right now. I’ve inadvertently missed important things that I should be aware of, appreciating, perhaps taking action on, and definitely expressing gratitude for, including the little things, all because I was not living in the present. I also noticed that not only was I causing unnecessary stress for myself by focusing on things that haven’t even happened yet and may not happen at all, but I had also overlooked something that was very important to me that was right in front of me right now. Clearly I would’ve noticed this if I were living in the present.

I had had several intuitive nudges about something I’ve been considering for a long time, and I had set those nudges aside because I was busy ruminating about the future and what it will bring. More importantly, there were things that I had overlooked or dismissed because of being caught up in not only looking too far ahead but also questioning whether or not there is something missing and what I should (the dreaded “should” word) be doing. And with the moment of awareness this article title brought me, I realized I had missed some opportunities with family and also my business that I had been taking for granted, not to mention the intuitive nudges that led me to taking positive action once I returned my focus to living in the present.

“The trick is to enjoy life. Don’t wish away your days waiting for better ones ahead. ~ Marjorie Hinckley

So along with the rumination about the future and potential results came stress because I was concerning myself with things that hadn’t even happened yet or may never happen. And, I know for sure that doing this is just a colossal waste of time and energy. Putting all this together brought me back to the present and was a direct lesson for me to get back into and stay in it. Sure it’s important to plan for the future and keep an eye on the horizon. But, stay aware of living in the present so you recognize and appreciate everything that’s here for you right now– today. Life goes by way too quickly to miss any of it.

I don’t think there’s anyone who can say they haven’t gotten caught up in the future or perhaps even stuck in the past at some point or another. Even the best of the experts find themselves looking outside the present moment now and again. It’s human nature, especially in the West where society has historically been less connected to this holistic mind/body/spirit mentality. I’m happy to say that’s changing dramatically now. What a blessing this is, not only for us but for our children, grandchildren, and future generations, too.

So if you’re reading this, you’re likely already at some stage of awareness and consciousness. And if so, you understand that consciously redirecting yourself to living in the present has enormous lasting value. One of the things I like to do to keep myself more grounded in the present is to do a simple meditation for a few minutes each morning and/or evening, whichever works best for any given day. Doing both is even more beneficial but it doesn’t always fit the schedule.

Meditation is very helpful because it not only allows you to stay in the present, it also allows you to step away from the noise of life to connect or reconnect with your inner wisdom. Don’t let the term “meditation” scare you if you’ve not yet experienced it. There are very simple forms of meditation you can do. I’ll share a simple one with you here that you may want to try if you don’t have a meditative practice of your own. The important thing about any meditation or any inner or outer work you do for yourself is to be sure it feels good to you and you resonate with it.

If not, you’ll not experience the full benefit. Here are the steps to this simple meditation. Step 5 allows you a couple variations, and you can choose either or come up with your own. Both variations work well for me, but it’s all about what works for you-what you resonate with. Just relax and do what feels right. You may wish to start with this meditation and as you gain more experience and are more comfortable, create your own. Here we go:

1) Choose the time of day that works best for you to meditate and allow about 15 to 20 minutes for your meditation. If you wish, you can surely go longer, but sometimes when learning to meditate you may find yourself being bored or unable to focus, so shorter sessions are a good way to get started.

2) Wear loose, comfortable clothing. Be sure to wear clothing that is loose and very comfortable so your body and mind can relax and let go. This also better allows energy to flow through your system.

3) Choose a place where it’s quiet, you can get comfortable, and you won’t be interrupted. It’s very important to choose a location that’s very quiet and where you can sit or lie down comfortably. It’s also very important that you not be interrupted. Meditation is a time for quieting the mind and releasing life’s noise.

4) Once sitting or lying down comfortably, close your eyes and take 3 or 4 good, deep, slow breaths. With each breath, inhale fully through your nose, hold it for a second, and then exhale from your mouth with a quick “pahhhhh” sound until all the air is exhaled. I’ve experimented with the brief hold of the breath and a couple different ways to exhale, and the method above really relaxes me more than any other. I invite you to try different methods and see what feels best to you, too, but this is a good one and it’s easy.

5) Two simple variations to Step #5:

a) How to enter your meditative session and ask for general guidance: After you complete the few deep breaths, keeping your eyes closed simply greet your inner wisdom with a hello and speak your intention to connect with it. Then, simply ask, “What do I need to know today?” With eyes still closed, be quiet, be still, and listen and observe the stillness for that guidance.

b) How to enter your meditative session and ask for guidance on something specific: You may also ask for guidance on something more specific. In this case, after you complete the few deep breaths, keeping your eyes closed simply greet your inner wisdom with a hello and speak your intention to connect with it. Then simply say, “I ask for your guidance on __________,” (fill this in with a short description of what you need guidance on). Then with eyes still closed, be quiet, be still, and listen and observe the stillness for that more specific guidance.

That’s it for this simple meditation. Simple is always better because it doesn’t cause confusion. Keep your question simple and to the point for best results. There is no way of knowing when the guidance you request will come. It could be almost immediately or within hours or even days. Just know it will come. Do your best to be patient and pay attention to ideas, visuals, auditory messages, circumstances, people, opportunities, and anything else that comes to you that seems to have “come out of the blue.” That’s your inner wisdom, intuition, or higher self responding with the guidance you requested.

The beauty of meditation in terms of staying present and not getting stuck in the past or reaching too far into the future is that while in your meditative state, you are in the now-you are present. And, when performed daily or consistently at some level, you easily stay in touch with the present and connected to your higher self. This brings calm, clarity, and confidence, and keeps you open to your highest (soul) perspective.

“Accept what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.” ~ Sonia Ricotti

Commercial Real Estate Agents – 9 Presentation Tips That Can Win Listings

Commercial real estate is a special class of investment property. It lives and breathes income and price. As a real estate agent, that should be the basis for your listing presentation and to improve your chances of closing on the listing with the seller of the property.

As agents and salespeople, we are up against several other real estate agents in most listing presentations. The seller needs to be convinced of your ability to get the best price for the property and in the timeliest way. That is the best leverage you can use to win the listing.

As part of the pitch in the sales listing presentation, consider this question:

“Just how can the income of the property be used to enhance the price that the seller can get in today’s market?”

To answer the question you really do need to know about the current and future cash flow that comes out of the property. That means reading the lease in detail and with focus on:

  • Income strength
  • Lease term
  • Rent review and option terms
  • Income growth
  • Tenant profile
  • Tenant stability
  • Minimal vacancy threat
  • Lease strength and controls over the tenant
  • Lease protection for the landlord

These points will attract investment buyer interest. Knowing the answers will help you convert the seller’s property to a listing. Show the seller that you really do understand the lease and the value it brings the property in sale.

Not all presentations are simple when it comes to selling commercial property and you can have a number of hurdles to overcome. Importantly you can be prepared for these hurdles if you take the right steps such as:

  1. Comprehensively inspect the property before you meet with the seller. As a result of that inspection be prepared to talk to the property from a detailed perspective.
  2. Take pictures of the property that can be available on a laptop for use in your presentation with the seller if required.
  3. Itemise the strengths and weaknesses of the property today that will be points to handle in the marketing campaign. As part of the listing presentation focus on the strengths and how you intend to use them in the marketing of the property.
  4. Establish the target market that will be ideal for the property promotion. From that target market show how you intend to reach them, and exactly what the requirements are from that target market in today’s terms.
  5. Understand where the competition property is located relative to the subject property and just how the competition property can impact the marketing of the subject property.
  6. Understand the local property history and comparable rents and prices from completed sales and listings for that type of property. Be prepared to use those figures as evidence and argument to support your marketing campaign.
  7. Understand the supply and demand for local property including the threat of new property developments coming up.
  8. Be prepared to talk about return on investment in the current market and how that will impact price to the seller.
  9. Comment on property enquiry of recent time, where it comes from and what they are looking for.

This knowledge will help you find the right points of closure as you present your real estate services to the seller of the property. Local property knowledge and your ability to provide it whilst tapping into the target market will help the seller see that you are the real estate agent of choice to market the property and get the best price.